Contemplating AkuRoku
by Twin Kats
Summary: Semi-AU of KH2 / Within Sora Roxas sits, contemplating his relationship with Axel and where everything went wrong. / “Goodbye Axel.” / ONESHOT!


_**Summary:**__ Semi-AU of KH2 / Within Sora Roxas sits, contemplating his relationship with Axel and where everything went wrong. / "Goodbye Axel." / ONESHOT!_

_**Contemplating AkuRoku**_

Roxas was pretty sure that his heart didn't know what their mind looked like, and if he did he was pretty sure the brunette would be confused.

"Our mind is Twilight Town," the blonde said somewhat amusedly. He had been entertaining himself for a while by looking through Sora's memories. In doing so he found out Sora was from Destiny Islands; one would think their mind would be that place. It wasn't.

It was also by looking through those memories that Roxas discovered Sora's like for Kairi, and Kairi's like for Sora (though it appeared the brunette couldn't tell) which made him wince in realization.

Maybe what he saw back then wasn't what he thought it was.

The blonde's mood plummeted suddenly and with a sigh he wrapped his arms around his waist and slouched. He gazed over Twilight Town from the Tower and began to reminisce; began to think back on his decisions and all that happened; he began to contemplate where everything went wrong. He had a while anyway; the merging wouldn't be complete for some time.

…

_Roxas was running; those creatures were frightening and relentless in trying to get him. He didn't understand what was going on; he didn't remember anything, not even his name…well, not exactly._

_He remembered the name Sora, and it felt as if it belonged to him; it also felt as if it didn't fit with whom he was now. The blonde had spent several hours after waking up rearranging the letters in his name. Finally he got something that brought a sense of __**right**__ to him, but it wasn't complete._

_Roas wasn't a name, so the blonde had begun fishing for another letter to throw in. The 'x' seemed to call to him and so after several discarded ideas he christened himself Roxas._

_It was then that these creatures showed up. He ran almost immediately afterwards, ducking and weaving through the woods. The creatures followed, getting closer. One almost grabbed his leg but Roxas jumped last second and came to a gate before a mansion._

_Acting in instinct alone the blonde tugged at something and a giant key fashioned as a blade appeared in his hand. Still moving on instinct he moved the key to face the lock and with a flash of light and a click the gate swung open._

_The blonde raced inside and the creatures followed. Twisting and turning, going up staircases and through rooms Roxas finally found a basement and once he was inside he found the only exit locked._

_He cursed and whirled around just as the creatures entered the basement._

"_No choice," the blonde muttered, tugging at something again. This time instead of bringing the normal key-like blade from before he had two key-like blades in his hands; one was white, the other black. Roxas knew the name's of these blades instantly, but he had no time to dwell on it._

_The creatures attacked._

_With fluid grace Roxas attacked back, the blades an extension of his arms; it felt so natural to use them. The battle didn't last long; the creatures died rather quickly. The minute they were all gone Roxas stood and relaxed, releasing the blades back to where they came._

"_Simply amazing Roxas," a red head called, walking into the blonde's field of vision._

_Roxas stared at him with cold eyes and asked, "Who are you?"_

"_The name's Axel, got it memorized?" Axel questioned, a saucy grin on his face._

_Roxas snorted but said, "What do you want?"_

_Axel grinned and walked forward, "It's quite simple," he said. "You and I are much alike, you know." Roxas stared at him with distrust. "We don't remember our pasts at all besides a name. We don't understand what is happening. We're attacked by the dusks."_

"_Is that what those were?" Roxas demanded._

"_Yes," Axel's grin grew. "Those were dusks, the lowest form of Nobody you can find."_

"_Nobody?"_

"_Nobody," Axel nodded._

"_What is a Nobody?"_

_Axel gazed at Roxas appraisingly before saying, "Nobodies are the half of a whole person. A Nobody is the part without a heart; our power is halved when we're separated from our heart."_

"_You're a Nobody, aren't you," Roxas stated._

_Axel grinned and said, "Smart one. Yes, I am a Nobody; however unlike those dusks I am more powerful and thus am able to have a human appearance similar to my heart."_

"_By the way you were speaking earlier about how much we are alike," Roxas' eyes narrowed, "you meant that I was a Nobody."_

_Axel's grin was predatory as he said, "Very smart."_

"_What do you want," Roxas demanded again._

"_There's a group of us," Axel told the blonde calmly, "who are stronger and able to have a human appearance; twelve in total. Together we are searching for our hearts so that we may be whole. A Nobody is considered as less than human; we're scorned and hated because we lack a heart. We're not accepted anywhere."_

"_You're recruiting me."_

"_Of course."_

_The silence hung in the air for a minute until Roxas spoke again._

"_I'm in."_

…

"_What…why do you keep doing this?" Roxas asked after a minute, raising his gaze to look at Axel._

_Axel snorted slightly and told the red head from his place against the wall, "We're best friends; is it wrong for someone to want their best friend back?"_

'No…no Axel it's not, but…'

"_We're…best friends…"_

_Axel frowned slightly at Roxas' words, and Roxas knew they didn't sound as confused as he wished._

'You're screwing everything up, Axel! Your presence…it's messing up everything! I can't…I can't….'

_Roxas didn't dare look at Axel as he turned and ran away._

'I can't lie to you!'

…

_Roxas was leaving the Organization. He couldn't stay anymore; finding his heart wasn't a top priority. It hadn't been for some time._

"_Your mind's made up?" Axel's voice called and Roxas stopped, stiffening._

'Yeah…I'm leaving.'

…

"_Hello, Kairi," Axel said with a saucy grin. Roxas' eyes narrowed in anger slightly as Axel held out his hand, "Ready to go?"_

'It was all a joke to you, huh? Everything was a joke; the teases, the actions? You…'

…

'You can't know why…I won't **let** you know why.'

"_Why did the keyblade choose me?" Roxas told the red head, "I have to know."_

"_You can't turn on the Organization!" Axel roared, leaping away from the wall._

'I can't turn on the Organization? No, Axel…I can turn on them; I can't turn from you.'

…

'_How did it go wrong?'_ Roxas thought sadly. _'Where did it go wrong? Was it from when I joined? Was it when I fell? Was it when I was jealous and bitter? Was it when I left? Or was it when I pretended to not know him? Where did it go so __**wrong**__?'_

It was then that he noticed a second presence and with a start he looked up.

"Roxas," Axel greeted, not even looking at the blonde.

Roxas remembered.

…

"_Roxas, alright, fight, fight, fight," a cloaked figure said while clapping his hands._

'Axel…why is Axel here?'

_Roxas just stared at the man blankly; questioningly._

'I can't let him know…he can't know…'

"_You really don't remember," the figure said. "It's me," the man bent at the knees slightly and Roxas was sure he'd be grinning. "You know, Axel," Axel finished, pulling back his hood and giving an odd sort of bow with his hand._

'I know…'

…

"Axel," Roxas said sadly. "I…didn't think you could show up here. It's a great surprise to see you."

"Ah," Axel replied, turning his head away slightly; he had brought a peace offering of Sea Salt Ice Cream and his lay melting on his hand. "Well, you know," the red head said nonchalantly and took a bite of the ice cream bar.

Roxas had a feeling the red head was stalling.

…

"You're, fading away," Sora said, shocked and unaware of Roxas' existence inside himself still.

"Well, that's what happens when you put your whole being into an attack," the prone from of Axel replied bitterly, "you know what I mean? Not that Nobodies actually _have_ beings, right?" he added in an attempt at humor.

Axel knew it failed as he remembered the night that plagued him; the night Roxas left uncaringly and the time when he finally found the blonde, amnesiac.

…

"_You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" Axel yelled._

'You can't leave, Roxas…you can't! They'll kill you and then where would I be?'

"_No one would miss me," the blonde replied calmly. It was so __**indifferent**__ that Axel actually believed him._

'No one would…but…'

_The blonde walked away as Axel said, "That's not true!" He was gone and the fiery Nobody deflated. "I would…" he whispered bitterly._

…

"_Axel?" Roxas asked. It wasn't a tone of recognition and Axel sighed._

'Not even an acknowledgement from my name…just emptiness…'

"_Talk about blank with a capital B," Axel sighed and summoned his chakrams. "Man oh man, even the dusks aren't gonna crack this one."_

"_Wait a second!" Roxas yelled and for a brief moment Axel felt hope rekindle._

'Does he…'

"_Tell me what's going on!"_

'He doesn't…'

_Axel just shrugged and said lazily, "This town is __**his**__ creation right? Which means we don't have time for a Q and A."_

…

Roxas felt it; the pull of the merging finishing. It was accentuated by his body glowing; the white light would take him away.

"Goodbye Axel," Roxas said sadly as he remembered.

…

"_I have these icky orders to destroy you, if you refuse to come back with me."_

…

"Goodbye…partner," Axel replied and smiled softly at Roxas.

The memories tugged at him.

…

_He stood before Sora; it was a waste to be half a person. Besides, he'd be on the run forever unless he was whole. Even he knew that with his power cut in half he wasn't much of a match for the older, more experienced members of the Organization._

…

"_What's going ON!?" Roxas yelled and tossed the keyblade onto the ground angrily._

'I'm sorry Axel…you can't know.'

…

Roxas stared at the glowing form of Axel, regret filling him, and one tear fell.

Axel's smile may have told him everything he wished for, that the red head had forgiven him, but Roxas couldn't forgive himself.

…

_Axel watched sadly as the keyblade reappeared in the blonde's hand._

'No choice…'

_The red head fell into a stance as he said in an almost reminiscent tone, "Number XIII, Roxas, the Keyblade's Chosen One!"_

…

'_Right,'_ Axel thought bitterly, _'I attacked him. I wanted him to come back so much…I hurt him.'_

"Axel," Sora's voice pulled Axel from his thoughts. The teen asked his question, "What were you trying to do?"

Axel barely hesitated before he said, "I wanted to see Roxas."

Sora jerked a bit, surprised.

'_Maybe…'_

"He…was the only one I liked," Axel continued on with a sad smile.

'_Maybe he…'_

"He made me feel…like I had a heart," the red head gave a small chuckle as he added, "It's kinda…funny."

'_Can you hear me…'_

"You make me feel…the same," Axel continued, voice straining.

'…_Roxas?'_

Axel raised his hand and pulled the last of his strength together.

'_I…love you…whole or not.'_

"Kairi's in the castle dungeon," Axel bit out. "Now go!"

'_I…love you…enough to let you…go….'_

With the portal summoned by his last amount of strength Axel slipped away as Sora said sadly, "Axel…"

It was almost as if Roxas was speaking to him; as if Roxas had heard him and Roxas knew.

'_Goodbye…and I'm sorry. Guess we won't…'_

And maybe Roxas did; maybe Sora had finally merged with his blonde. Maybe Sora knew.

…

"_I…forgive you," Axel told the now whole Roxas as he gazed at Twilight Town. "Though, I guess there's nothing left to forgive; your actions were justified in a way."_

_Roxas' face and body looked at him, but it was Sora there and not Roxas…or rather Roxas was now Sora._

"_I guess…" the whole Roxas said as the memories came, "we both have our regrets." He smiled a little._

…

_Axel looked so happy; he looked so happy to believe that Roxas had remembered._

_Roxas knew he couldn't let the red head know he remembered; if he did then he'd be dragged back. He didn't want to go back; he couldn't. Not when Axel…_

"_What's our boss' name?" Axel asked with a grin._

_Roxas jerked, muscles stiffening._

_No, he couldn't go back._

_Axel's face dropped as he seemed to come to the conclusion that the blonde was faking remembering._

"_I knew it was too good to be true," the red head sighed._

_No, he definitely couldn't go back, no matter how much he wished to._

_Roxas summoned his keyblade and fell into a stance for battle._

_He couldn't go back to seeing Axel every day and knowing the red head would never love him._

…

_It was the place they first met; the place Axel recruited him._

_How fitting for their last battle._

"_So you really do remember me this time," Axel said angrily._

_Roxas felt as if he were drowning. He hurt Axel…he hurt him when he loved him; how could he hurt Axel?_

_The pain, regret, and longing was suffocating him; some part of Roxas hoped it would kill him so that he wouldn't have to battle Axel, so that he wouldn't have to hurt Axel._

_Some part of Roxas wanted to drown in the sea of sorrow and never come back from it._

…

"_Axel…" Roxas said sadly. The other Nobody was beaten and weak. He wouldn't survive another attack, as they both knew._

"_Let's meet again, in the next life," Axel said jokingly._

_To Roxas it wasn't a joke as he clearly said, "Yeah. I'll be waiting."_

_Axel laughed bitterly this time as he said, "Silly, just because __**you**__ have a next life," while disappearing._

_Roxas moved on, hoping against hope Axel would get a next life as well and that he wouldn't be afraid to see him again._

_That the fiery Nobody could forgive him when everything came into light._

…

Sora let a tear fall; Roxas had wished for Axel to find his Somebody. Roxas had wished for Axel to forgive…which Sora knew Axel had never blamed the blonde in the first place.

Sora also knew that the hope Roxas had; the dream that Axel would be whole like himself would never come to pass.

Sora let a tear fall to the fact that Roxas would never get to see Axel again.

…

_Bittersweet, no? This storyline actually is for a viddie of mine called __**Contemplating AkuRoku**__ (yup, same title) and is posted on __**YouTube**__ under __**twinkats**__. I've also posted a link up under one of the sections in my bio. Please feel free to watch it; it's one of my favorite WMM created videos and sadly it appears to not be getting much love. Only 130 views, no ratings, and no comments…sigh._

_It actually grew a concrete storyline too…which is what spawned this monster. I had intended to post this the minute I had finished it but I halted. I don't know why I halted anymore._

_Ah well, better late than never, eh?_

_TK  
__Twin Kats_

_(Not a believer of OTP)_


End file.
